Sandbox Love
by watchingmewatchingu
Summary: Pre Glee - You never forget your childhood crush, because they were your first, they'll forever stay with you and hold that special place in your heart. It's Prom night and time for Quinn to act on her hidden feelings, even if it might lead to a rumble
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Sandbox Love  
**Author:** me :)  
**Fandom:** Glee  
**Pairing/Characters:** Rachel/Quinn Brittany/Santana Santana/Puck - implied  
**Rating:** R  
**Summary:** Pre Glee - You never forget your childhood crush, because they were your first love, they'll forever stay with you and hold a special place in your heart and memories.

I was 14 and she was 15.  
Prom was just around the corner and I'd practically begged my dad for the dress of my dreams.  
He was all about me being his little princess and didn't necessarily like that I was growing up.  
After weeks of arguing back and forth, he agreed to let me buy it, because when he saw me in the dress, his jaw dropped and he was speechless.  
It was one of a kind, strapless yellow above the knee, double layered Betsey Johnson dress, with a black satin belt.

All of my friends were going, so I wasn't too worried about not having a date. The main reason that I had even decided to go, was _her_, my crush, since kindergarten.

We first met on the playground and had quite a dispute on top of the slide at the age of 4, she stole my bucket and my heart along with it.  
Apparently, sandbox love never dies, in my case it's still there, tugging away, just like when we were 4.

"Oh daddy, I love the dress! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He patted my head, as if I were a little girl. "You're welcome Quinnie." He always did have a hard time showing emotions.

To prepare for the big night I had invited my friends Brittany and Santana over. They were my complete opposites, yet my equals.  
Santana, sassy and hardcore, Brittany, dumb as a doorknob, but they were my friends and they completed me.

"Quinn! Love the dress!" Santana had always been very touchy, she had trouble only seeing with her eyes. Brittany grabbed my hand and made me twirl. "You're so fucking pretty." At this I usually blushed, because no matter how flattering it was, I just couldn't see it. Me? Quinn Fabray, pretty? Dude, no way.

Santana and Brittany were wearing matching dresses, one purple and the other pink, they were ever so girly. The fabric fell so flawless over their perfect slim bodies.

"Is Rachel Berry going?" asked Brittany. Santana, making a puking motion, fingers down her throat. "What do you care?" By this point I was merely frustrated and also a tad bit nervous. "Wow, what are you getting so strung out for? You don't like her either." Boy was she wrong.

We finished up by doing each others makeup and they, of course, went all out on me. It may have looked a bit whorish, but then again, that's what most guys go for anyway, so I pretended to like it. The only thing was, I knew that I wasn't interested in the boys.

Santana had set up for Finn and Puck to pick us up. Mike was to come too, but changed his mind at the very last minute.  
Puck was, in Santana's words; _the best dry hump_, she'd ever had, that's also what Brittany said about her.

Finn was a cool guy. I sat behind him in English, he used to pass me notes during class. Notes containing really lame jokes, which you couldn't help but to laugh at.

"San? Are you gonna let him go all the way tonight?" Brittany asked, with a hence of disappointment and sadness in her voice. "I don't know, I haven't decided yet. Why, you want in?" The smirk on her face said it all, although I wasn't quite sure what it actually would purposely lead Britt on, only to let her down in the end.  
"Can I?" Brittany's face lit up and Santana chuckled.  
They never did try to hide their so called 'non-dating-secret-bisexual-relationship', they were simply, exploring their options.


	2. Chapter 2

A car pulled up outside and shortly thereafter, there was a knock on the door. The girls ran downstairs, whilst I went into the bathroom to wash off the heavy makeup. It made me look, complex, when really I was a very simple girl.  
My bedroom door creaked open, assuming it was one of the girls coming to rush me on, I didn't pay too much attention to it.

"Quinn?" _shit!_  
It was Finn. In one quick motion I slammed the door shut with my foot. "Just a sec." He had become really clingy lately and god knows why.  
I wiped the remains of the eyeliner running down my face, with the back of my hand.

He came to push the door open. "Sorry, I just, I needed to see you." Boys, always with the words they think we want to hear. "Quinn and Brittany are waiting, so..." He looked dumbstruck, standing before me, staring at his feet, as if he was waiting for the courage to ask me out.

_Oh no_. He was going to ask me to prom. "I've been thinking. Since you don't have a date and I don't have a date. Maybe we should, you know, go together?" How could I possible turn him down easy, without breaking his heart?

"Finn... I..." But it was as if he already knew. He knew I didn't want to go with him, but he didnät know why.  
Nobody did.

He sat sulking in the limo the entire way. It was me, Britt, Puck, Santana, then Finn. Puck's hand on San's inner thigh, San's hand intertwined with Britt's, behind Puck's back. Cheeky.  
I saw the bright shining lights up ahead. Prom, here we go I thought.  
I was so uncomfortable on so many levels. Brittany dragged Santana with her as she leaped out of the car just as it came to a screeching halt.

Reluctantly I followed. Puck smacked my ass as I stepped out. But I was fast. I grabbed his hand forcefully. "If you want to still be able to use this, I suggest you don't, do that, again. Deal?" He frowned and snatched it back, like I'd really hurt him. "What the fuck? Alrigth, whatver. Deal. Fucking bitch!" He said the last part under his breath, like it wasn't meant for me to hear.

"Jerk off." I shoved my fist hard against his chest. He saw it as a sign of weakness, an opportunity. Puck leaned in to whisper something, he yanked hard at my wrist to keep me in place, which caused me to fall against him.  
His breath was on me, it reaked of alcohol.

"You're not a little lamb. I know why you're here and guess what, I'm making it my reason for being here too. Rachel Berry will never look your way. Know it, ssee it, feel it. Wherever she is tonight, I'm gonna find her and fuck her."

His crudeness never struck me as threats, he was just trying to get to me and not seeing that he was failing miserably. A foul mouth was not the way to go, so whatever plan he had, mine was to find Rachel first.

I got out of his tight grip and hurried inside.


	3. Chapter 3

As I entered the gym, i hardly noticed the decorations, which I for months had helped put up, as much as the uncontrollably fast beating of my heart.  
Luckily no one could see what I was feeling inside and I imagined that fingers plunged through my chest, to rip out my human heart, was not something anyone would want to bare witness to.  
A pulpy mass of morbid diathesis, right there, on the floor? No thank you, not today.  
They say love hurts when you do it right, was this love? Had my sandbox love turned into true love, or was it an innocent crush?  
I could feel the endless incomprehensible boredom once again take over.

"There you are! Oh my god, you're not gonna believe who Rachel is here with." I could feel my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach, but it didn't stop there, I was a bottomless pit and it just kept falling, sinking, downward, with no end in sight. "Is it Kurt?" Because if it was Kurt, I wouldn't be too bothered.

Technically that wouldn't be cheating and therefore, technically I couldn't get jealous, because technically, she wasn't my girlfriend. So what if it was Kurt, only I had a strong hunch that it wasn't.  
"Mike Chang!" _What? Mike? The other Asian?  
_

This was not okay, so not okay. My eyes began to search the big open space, now filled with horny teenagers. Finally I spotted my target, leaned up against the wall, right by the table with the most likely already spiked punch and snacks.  
On shaky legs I went to stand beside her. I nudged her shoulder. "Hi." She didn't even look up, her focus was glued to something, or someone else. She was nonchalant as she said; "Hi, Quinn."

"Somebody said you've got a new friend." Still, nothing, not even a glance, or a bitchy comment. "Oh?" If I wanted her to care, I had to get her full attention, I had to take control of the situation. "Does he, love you better than I can?" Finally, she looked up. The bangs, which she always pinned to the sides, with cute little animal clips, fell in her face. I reached out to remvoe the strains of hair and pin it behind her ear, she stopped me and the gap between us widened.  
Which could only mean...

"Hey, Fabray." Mike smiled at me and then turned to Rachel, his smile broadened. "You ready, babe?" She nodded and they walked off, leaving me standing alone, looking like the dork I felt like. I stared longinly after her.  
I didn't know whether to stay put, or follow them.  
Sure, it was stupid but I had to see it for myself, so I did end up following them.

Out of the crowded gymhall, away from prom, away from my friends. It wasn't a question that they wanted to be somewhere secluted, somewhere that wasn't near me, somewhere that wasn't McKinley, it was a fact.

Rachel knew someone was on their trail, because she kept looking back and I know she knew it was me. It all felt very childish and somewhat stalkerish, but when a girl's in love, she's in love and there is no stopping her.

I watched as Mike pulled out a pair of keys from his pocket and opened the door to the faculty room. I could literally *hear* Rachel grinn from ear to ear, because whenever the corners of her mouth moved, she'd bite her lower lip and her sexy bedroom eyes would radiate the most amazing hypnotyzing sparkle in them.  
I loved it.

The music could still be heard, blasting from down the hall. Although I was in pain, the world continued to turn, because face it, the world doesn't care about your problems, not really anyway. It will continuesly bring you down to your knees and all you can do then, is get right back up.

I closed in on the half opened door, they had been standing outside just a minute ago.

_'I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her. I'm right over here, why can't you see me? I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home. I keep dancing on my own.'_

Seeing them kiss, was sickening, it actually made be nauseaous. Rachel was supposed to be kissing me, her hands were supposed to be around my weist. He was so rough with her, hands on her ass, hands in her hair, messing it up. Hands groping, touching, occasionally squeezing. Even I felt violated for her, just by watching.  
Suddenly, my knees weakened, buckled and gave weight, i slumped down against the door, giving away a louder thud than I'd expected.


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm sorry Mike, I can't do this" The door was pushed open and me along with it. The floor was swept with my dress, hopefully it wouldn't leave stains. "Quinn?" Mike said my name with a sound of hatred in his voice. "What the hell are you doing here?" I got on my feet and brushed the back of my dress. "I was... uh. I was." Then, mid sentence, she stepped out. Rachel Berry, ever so beautiful. He looked at her, then me, then back at her.  
Rachel rolled her eyes at Mike. "Man forget this!" He said and stormed off, like a little hormonal girl.

"You okay?" She took my hand in hers, her softness made me woozy, I twirled the ring on her finger. She'd had it for years and only now did I notice how detailed it was. "Quinn?" I knew what she wanted and I wasn't ready to give it to her. "Quinn, please, look at me." But I couldn't, that if anything she should be able to understand. "I need you to talk to me." Silent treatment was working just fine with me. I didn't need to talk to her, not yet anyway.

"I feel like I'm a piece of luggage, on an airport carousel, waiting to be picked up and I'm standing there, like; pick me, please pick me. Nobody ever does, pick me, I mean." She literally took the words right out of my mouth.  
If I looked up at Rachel now, if I decided to face her, I would meet her brown puppy dog eyes, forcefully trying to hold back tears. At this point, I wasn't in the mood to care for a crying Rachel, not after having seen her in the arms of, none other than Mike Chang.

"What do you want me to say, Rach?" She pressed my hands against her chest, I could feel her heart racing, somehow the beat of it, was keeping me calm inside.  
"I want you to say _'that's my bucket'_ and not necessarily pull my hair, unless that's what you're into?" She managed to make me crack a smile with that remark, because it made me think back of that day at the playground.

Maybe this was Rachel's attempt, of giving me my heart back. "I want to be 4 again, remember how easy life was?" Rachel sighed and nodded. "I may have taken your bucket, but, Santana Lopez stole my Barbra Streisand cd. I found it smashed into pieces in my bag pack, true story."  
Half true actually, because I was the one who broke her cd, along with her spirit and somehow Santana still got blamed? Maybe life didn't suck as much as I thought it did.

"Yeah, well. You know Santana, she barely knows the difference between wrong and right, how could she possibly keep track of 'mine' and 'yours'? That's just too much information to take in."  
She smiled and oh, when she smiled. "Quinn?" Finally, I looked up at her shyly. "Hm?" Still being cautious, there was no way I was putting myself out there again.

"Dance with me?"

Three little words, the only three little words I wanted to hear. Standing there, tugging at my hair, knowing damn well what my answer was, I wanted her to worry. I stayed quiet, so she could say more words, I wanted to hear her voice over and over again, her soft spoken words, on a loop, repeatedly in my ear. She closed in on me and her hand was stretched out, only to wipe away the single tear that was slowly rolling down my cheek. Huh, I hadn't even noticed that I was crying.

I watched as Rachel licked her tear salty finger. "Shall we?" Arms linked, lump in my throat and steady feet, we started to walk back to what I thought would be prom, instead I found myself closing in on the football field. "What are we doing here? We're missing out on..." Rachel cut me off and shushed me with her entire hand covering my mouth.  
So I licked it, to my disappointment, she then removed it.

"Missing out? Missing out on what? Your little Cheerio friends getting wasted in the girls bathroom? Finn trying to get with you, in any possible way he could? Puck descretely hitting on you behind Finn's back? Oh yeah, that's sounds exciting!" She made me come off as a slut the way she talked. "Why was all of that about me? What about you? What about Rachel Berry?" I thought long and hard, but came up empty handed. "Exactly. There's nothing on me, because at McKinley, Rachel Berry, doesn't exist. I'm the girl getting slushed. I'm the girl who sits alone in the cafeteria during lunch. I'm the girl, nobody sees."

She was right, but she had also forgotten the most important thing.

_I saw her_.

I saw her at 4. I liked her at 5. I stuck gum in her hair at 6. I tripped her in the hallway at 7. I pushed her into the pool at 8. I got her sent to the principals office at 9. I wrote nasty stuff about her on the bathroom wall at 10. I tp'd her house on Halloween at 11. I started a mean rumor about her at 12. I slushed her for the first time at 13.  
I loved her, _always_.

Even though there was no music playing, I pulled her closer to me, close enough for our foreheads to meet.  
We slowed danced all through the night, to the music in her head.

It started to rain, it started to pour down. She clinged to me and hugged me. We were drenched and neither of us cared.  
Her hair, fell so perfectly, covering her face as she leaned in to me. "Do I look okay?" I hold her in my arms and rest my chin on top of her head.  
She's so beautiful and from this day on, I would tell her everyday. "You're absolutely beautiful."

Rachel Berry blushed and turned away. "You know this will never work. We're gonna go back in there, you'll return to your friends and leave me standing on my own, just like how it's supposed to be. You're Quinn Fabray and..." Now it was my turn to cut her off.

For the first time, my lips met hers and it was more than I ever could've dreamed of, beyond any highly anticipated expectations. I had in fact, spent many hours pondering on what it would feel like, to kiss Rachel. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. Her smell was intoxicating, a mix of pineapple, lime and coconut, some sort of a sweet alcoholic drink.  
Cherry flavoured lips latched on to mine, I was practically in heaven and I never wanted to come down.

I didn't move, in fear of falling.  
We must've stood like that for a lifetime, because when I broke the kiss, in lack of breath, my lips were completely numb. Rachel threw her arms around my neck and I expected her to be the one to break the silence, I was shit out of luck, because she just grinned up at me.  
I never really did care until I met her, my life was officially complete with her in it.

I will forever know this, because she's the only person who I ever loved and who ever loved me back.

My phone vibrated in my bra, I puleld it out, text from... Mike. I read it out loud; _Rachel Berry finally scored herself a keeper. Be good to her Quinn, be good to each other. PS: Sorry I kissed her, that wasn't actually in the plan.  
_At this I could do nothing else but to smile.

By the time I had turned 16, Rachel and I were no longer speaking. It broke my heart every time I saw her, because I felt so guilty. Her pleading eyes, piercing holes through my soul, wondering what went wrong. She confronted me once, but never again. "What happened between us, Quinn? We were doing so good. Is it me, did I do something wrong?" I pushed her aside and without looking back, I said; _high school __happened_.

Even so, there isn't a day that I don't think back on what we had, wanting, longing to feel everything, just one more time, one more chance, one more try and I'd make it right again.  
She was the one, she was the only one and she was amazing.

Our friendship is gradually getting better, we're getting back on track.  
The only thing left to do now, is continue to sneak those non subtlety glances during Glee Club, maybe one day she will forgive me for what I did.  
She leaves me handwritten notes, with golden stars on them.  
Therefore, I know that she still loves me.  
I know this, because sandbox love, never dies.

_We were 4 and she stole my bucket._


End file.
